Ok, the Master of Light Chick is so fucking fucked at the moment. Sure, mom would totally love to read that sentence and realize all the money she spent on prim and proper boarding school in Connecticut and private college at George Washington University really paid off, right?
My heart is literally hurting and throbbing in pain. It started while I was in L.A. I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack. But, I don’t believe in illness so didn’t quite grasp on to a heart attack as being an option for me. Nonetheless, I had no clue why a part of my heart was literally throbbing.
Well, find out that it had to do from coming and going from San Francisco and seeing the man I have loved the most of any man in my life. Mind you, for the past 13 years we’ve never officially dated, have had sex only a handful of times, pretend to be “friends”, maintain a push/pull dynamic yet are totally crazy about one another. I have not ever deleted one person’s contact information from my phone so many times nor stormed out on another as much as him. Therefore, it surprised me after telling him to never fucking call me again, to get a call from him years later stating that perhaps he and I will be together sometime in the future. I was thinking, “Yeah right, Mr. Drug Addict”. That is a remnant from boarding school. Sure, people did drugs there but it was purely recreational vs. habitual…. 
Anyway, he was also the first poor man I fell in love with. Not that it matters. But my prior long-term boyfriend was a McKinsey consultant so you get the visual of the different dynamic I was encountering. And, this guy wanted to be a singer (was destined to be a singer with a beautiful voice and inspiring stage presence) yet held himself back with drugs and being an auto detailer for his entire adult life.
Fast forward to the 2009 and the first time we saw each other in 3 years. I was hesitant to see him. In fact, the angels made me do it. Seriously….a channeling I had literally made me go see him despite my protests he was still a drug addicted auto detailer. Upon seeing him, however, none of that mattered and my heart beat stronger than ever before. I was now the Master of Light Chick with more clarity and understanding about the nature of life, which made my feelings for him all the more clear and the pain of seeing him destroy himself and his future all the more devastating.
Sadly, I felt I had no option but to walk out on him again on that trip. Engaging with him in that haze of drugs would have done neither of us any good. I cried and wrote him a letter on my 5 hour plane ride home offering him to come to NY to get away from the lifestyle with which he was embroiled. I had tried previously to help him which is another reason I felt the need to walk out on him again – it was all for naught. Walking away from the person you love the most in this world is the hardest thing one can do. I’ve been in courtrooms, I’ve faced foreclosure and bankruptcy, I’ve had the “darkness” try to tear me apart – none of that is as hard as walking away from a soulmate with whom you share a deep, deep bond.
Fast forward six months ahead and working out some things between us that led me to believe the dynamic might be different this trip to California. I realized his presence brings me so much joy I was willing to entertain whether his continued drug use could be something I could tolerate.
It broke my heart to see he has actually spiraled further downhill with the substance abuse than I have ever seen him before. At the same time, he has joined a band that will likely take him to where he is meant to go – to stardom. It is the first time in my life, however, I have ever believed he has a 50/50 chance of dying from the drugs and alcohol. Hearing him cough and hack in the shower broke my heart so I went to Whole Foods to buy him some vitamins for his health. I never got the opportunity to give them to him as he is the one who blew me off this time.
So, I drove back down to L.A. stopping in Santa Barbara and Malibu balling my eyes out for this soul mate whom I have loved the most of any and with whom I share the strongest bond. It is unknown at this moment what will happen but I have no choice but to try and move on. How? Who the hell knows…our bond and contract was one of the most beautiful of which I am aware. It is heart breaking to have to dissolve it.
From where I am standing, I do not know if I have any soul mates or potential mates even left out there. And, I will certainly not settle for a bond any less than what I have with this Cali man. But, is that realistic? I have no clue. The Gods can not be so cruel if it is not, can they? I would rather die if I do not encounter a love equal to or greater than what I feel for this man. I love absolutely everything about him – warts and all. This trip I even experienced Unconditional Love towards him, which really rocked my world and was almost like one of those Kundalini experiences.
The angels (channeled) have explained my heart is literally broken and needs to be mended. My heart knew prior to my driving up to San Francisco this awaited me which is why is started hurting in Los Angeles. To mend it on the physical plane now, they suggest taking calcium and magnesium supplements. I tell you, I wish I was the one with the drug problem so I could get myself into a haze over the whole situation. No, instead I am fully conscious and fully aware of my physical pain. Besides, if I were in a drug induced stupor, I would be getting high and wouldn’t have just found a video of his band on the internet which brought up all my feelings for him again. Yes, I would say, the Gods are very cruel.
One very important lesson I have learned over the past week is each and every one of us Deserves Love Without Pain. I believe this is one of the foundations of the paradigm shift of 2012. No longer should we be willing to think pain has any part in love. It is to be beautiful, it is to be bright and loving and it is to be completely joyous. The days of it being anything less are coming to a close. Please remember, YOU Deserve Love Without Pain.
Dear Light Chick,
Found your blog searching to see if anyone had substantiated the date “11/27/09″ as the Obama Disclosure day. David Wilcock was on Coast-2-Coast AM this morning and talked about this at length but would not give the date, tho I heard it from Bill Ryan already.
A week after 1/20/09 inauguration speech lots of content was published about a reverse speech analysis predicting a global extraterestrial event, from the same guy that predicted the iraq war two years in advance. Looks like its gonna happen and it won’t take 4 years either.
I am sorry for your heartbreak. The highest spiritual principle I have found is that everything that one experiences in physical reality is a symbolic representation of something that is happening on the inside, because each person is their own universe and the higher mind sees only the all-present. Don’t be sad.
-Ricky
Thank you for your kind words. I completely agree all outward manifestations reflect internal lessons to be learned or ignored. It doesn’t matter how the situations turn up – be it career, relationships, financial, etc. – what is important is to learn and grow from them. And, I also understand it is only because of having this intense soul mate bond with my Cali man that I would even pay any attention to the potential lessons in front of me surrounding our relationship. If the same issues were presented with someone I did not care as deeply about, I would simply ignore them and walk away. So, because of the bond, the painful situation is a gift albeit one surrounded with lots of tears. A relationship therapist I enjoy, Dr. Pat Allen, says she doesn’t care one bit why one has pain but rather is interested in helping clients see their pain as a catalyst for change.
Onto the disclosure…interesting stuff about the reverse speech analysis. Where can I find out more about that? Sounds almost like the Clif High and the Half Past Human material. Yeah, who knows if 11/27/09 is the actual date but I agree with you that it won’t take 4 years. But, does it really matter? We can’t get along with the different races currently living on this planet so how would we as humans possibly be expected to get along with the different extraterrestrial races? We would probably treat them as disrespectfully as depicted in the District 9 movie.
Re: David Wilcock and Bill Ryan – did you go to the Project Camelot conference in L.A.? I just returned. Though the videos online are great, they don’t give you the flavor of what was going on behind the scenes and the various energies present. I plan to write more on that when I get settled back into my East Coast life. It was very, very interesting.
Blessings to you…
Light Chick
Dear Light Chick,
I am located in Ohio about 1 hour outside Cleveland in semi-suburban backcountry, but I have a very preppy upbringing just like you. You will laugh but I am kind of afraid of flying, so no I did not go to the Camelot conference but I have been donating money to them since I was 18 back when there was only about 5 interviews published b/c I knew what they were doing was VERY important. I thought the new Alex Collier videos were great, his idea that we are the only human civilization that uses money is something I have heard before.
Here is the link with Alfred Webre talking about the reverse speech stuff(wasn’t he at the conference too?): http://www.examiner.com/x-2912-seattle-exopolitics-examiner~y2009m2d20-barack-obamas-inaugural-speech-predicts-extraterrestrial-event-on-scale-of-iraq-war-says-expert
I know all about the Half Past Human data mining/prediction stuff, I like to find the interviews where Clif High explains it because the raw data on his site is a little confusing. I assume you found the november date from the same video I did, about 6 minutes of Bill Ryan talking, the second part was fascinating with the lady who was abducted 20 years ago and shown the images of the open-air stadium UFO landing which could possibly happen in about 40 days.
I am very intrigued that every single book you have mentioned with channelled stuff is one that I already own and have read. I have ebook versions of all the George Green stuff and books with all the Pleiadian stuff like Family of Light. If you have not seen it and u have some time go to Google video search and type “UFO’s – The Pleiadian Connection.” Theres lots of other channelled stuff I know about that I do not see too many people talk about because the channellers like to keep a low profile. Good luck with your future divorced-soft-bellied-harley-riding boyfriend.
-Ricky
Why are you afraid of flying? Please do tell…
Awesome you have supported Project Camelot since you were 18! How amazing you could see the truth at that age instead of becoming embroiled in the nonsense other people around the same age think is reality. Well, the nonsense is certainly fun as long as you see the big picture all around.
Yes, wasn’t that cool what Alex Collier mentioned about money? The Andromedians just can’t understand why you would have to pay after you were born on a planet, or something like that – how he stated it during the conference was fantastic. You won’t believe this, but when I was at band rehearsal last week in Cali, there was this old hippie dude hanging around who I initially thought was just a lame stoner. It was only him and me listening to the rehearsal. Turns out he was completely into the Andromedian material and we totally connected about all I had learned at the PC conference, which was totally wild, while the band played on and continued to get high and drunk. BTW, what’s the controversy around Alex Collier? I had never heard of him prior. He had been billed as the “mystery” guest at the conference.
Yeah, Alfred Webre was at the conference. Thanks for the link – I look forward to checking it out. I have enjoyed watching his videos but in person he gave a dry university-like presentation and I had to try to keep myself from falling asleep.
I agree with you about the Half Past Human data – it’s better to hear him decipher it. And, no I don’t know about that Bill Ryan/woman video so will have to watch that too.
One of my businesses is selling books specializing in metaphysical/spiritual/occult, etc. but I love to read as many as I can too. Do you know about Barbara Marciniak’s Pleaidian material? She also puts out CDs deciphering current events that are pretty thought provoking. One thing that stands in my mind is the bridge collapse in Minnesota a couple years back. They were talking about how it was actually a particle beam accelerator that collapsed it. BTW, have you been watching Fringe? I’m not a t.v. person but that show is definitely laying some reality out there. Last night’s episode was about parallel universes and shape shifting soldiers. AND, on another channel, they kept showing previews for a new alien show called V – where these “good” aliens land to come “save” us. TPB (the powers that be) are definitely planting the seeds for the ordinary man, aren’t they? Well, they’ve got to get their game as the clock is ticking away. Oh, do you read Michael’s channeled monthly messages too?
Wait til I write about the goings on behind the scenes at the PC conference. You know, I came home from Cali to a big boulder in front of my front door. Isn’t that odd? Wonder if it was TPB? If so, they can totally fuck themselves. The love for my little pot friend consumes my mind more than their silly bullshit antics.
Love & light friend,
Light Chick