Doing a little experiment to get out of my mind and also understand the wave length my Cali pothead soul mate, CP, (along with my Marin friends) has lived in during our 12 year push/pull dynamic while I’ve been conscious and clear headed and doing yoga, meditating, chanting, exercising, eating raw and organic, etc. etc. – you get the picture. My whole circle in Marin was constantly stoned while I was commuting to SF and moving up the corporate ladder. In the end, who chose the right path? That remains to be seen…
DAY #0 – Sunday. Met a platonic male friend at Bloodroot in Bridgeport to discuss addiction, soul mates and my potentially going to Al-Anon. Bloodroot is a great funky old vegetarian place on the water in Black Rock. You can’t beat dining there on a sunny day, which is exactly how it was on Sunday. And, I was craving a tofu scramble akin to what I was eating on my recent trip to L.A. and just about the only place you can get it around here is at Bloodroot. I casually mentioned to him how I longed to get out of my head – that is was simply not fair for CP to be out of his head the whole time and not me. He said he could help me and asked what I was doing later in the evening. I was going to see Susan Tedeschi in Ridgefield so we made plans for the following evening at my pad. Prior to the concert, had dinner with my straight laced friend who does not drink nor do anything “bad”. Turns out she would be totally down with participating in the experiment with me…hello? That blew me away. I think we have to do it behind her girlfriend’s back though as her girlfriend is totally wound up and prim and proper.
DAY #1 – Monday, Columbus Day, 7:00 p.m. One of my assistants came in to work as did the cleaning lady so I felt obliged to work too but to no avail. It was a Holiday, I was hung over from some red wine at the concert, so decided to take advantage of the day and chill the fuck out instead. I read through old journals, had an angel reading, took a bath, walked the dog, had a gay friend stop over to tell me about lesbian antics and strap-ons. Turns out she…the daughter of a born again Christian minister, is totally down with my experiment too. Hello, have I been the only straight laced person I know? I feel like such a babe in the woods with everyone seemingly down with pot except me.
Later on, my male friend came over with some fresh strawberries saying he liked to munch on these and celery when he gets stoned. I lit the first fire of the season and we totally chilled out. I introduced him to Lil’ Kim and “How Many Licks” and he asked if I knew about Peaches and we relaxed by the fire. It felt great to be out of my head and in the present moment without the monkey mind jumping from here to there. He asked for a tour of the house and when we got to my white bedroom he asked what the stripper pole was – I replied it was a structural beam and then popped a Jimi Hendrix concert, Live from Monterey, into the VCR. We stood around the bedroom not moving until he offered a foot massage and well, you know, things led to things…completely unexpected. But, damn did it feel good to be fully in the present moment and experience all the sensations one can feel during an intimate experience amplified. I am definitely down for more of that. Day 1 went well.
DAY #2 – Tuesday, 7:30 p.m. Started to watch the new Jordan Maxwell video up on the Project Camelot site. I watch those kind of videos all the time under normal circumstances and go to sleep without a problem. Listening to him talk about the Annunaki and the coming “Son God” and all sorts of other conspiracy shit, made me completely paranoid, which was a really icky feeling. I tried to write while the video was going but my fingers hitting the keys were like a Clydesdale horse clip clopping on the pavement. It just didn’t flow and it was quite difficult as the words were not coming together at all. Before bed, I consciously focused on releasing the paranoia. I literally felt the lower level energies close to my body but when I made a decision to release them, they dissipated completely, I felt clear and it was fine to sleep.
Lesson – good to know writing is not an option nor is watching Exopolitics but sex is. I also get if you smoke throughout the day, you could definitely feel like the world is out to get you – not a really positive vibe to carry around, is it?
Re: paranoia – this popped into my head the next day: could that possibly be a mind control program that TPB (the powers that be) instilled for the population to self police itself? Why I say this is I remember Cathy O’Brien in her book Trance Formation of America mentioning pot smoking was forbidden for her as a mind controlled sex slave. It must break apart the mental compartmentalization and programming or something? So, it would make sense that TPB wouldn’t want people to access places in which they can break free from their prison planet existence. It’s a thought because why would paranoia creep up like that? A friend of mine said she feels it all the time when getting high.
DAY #3 – Wednesday, 5:00 p.m. Backup a little prior to 5:00 p.m. and I was talking to a yet another friend about my experiment. This chick lives in NYC, is totally organic, clean, healthy, pretty, etc. and I am going to her high school reunion this weekend – she needs my psychic skills to read people. Out of the blue, she said she would totally get stoned for it. Thing is, she is breast feeding and didn’t know whether that’d be totally bad for the baby. So we were on the phone figuring out ways to Google “is taking one hit bad for breast feeding a 1.5 year old?” Isn’t that hilarious. I swear, the people who are the least likely candidates to be interested in pot are the ones with the most interest – what’s up with that?
Ok, so now it’s 5:00 p.m. and I’m done with work and ready to lift some weights – usually I work til about 10:00 p.m., but not this week, there is very little motivation to go around. Alter my mind and pop in Jackie Warner’s arm workout. I found myself really getting down to the beats on the soundtrack, which I never before noticed. Finished the 20 minute session without a problem.
Earlier in the day, some NYC VP investment banking dude wrote the following to our online bookstore:
I believe we just spoke. I’m desperately trying to get a copy of Sigurd Olson’s The Lonely Land. This email and the XXX website was listed with contact information for XXX, which I take is an online book dealer and apparently has a copy of the book. As I mentioned I’m prepared to drive out to Westport if I can get the book this evening and would be willing to meet the owner somewhere else if he/she needs to leave work before I can get there.
I promised a friend I would find the book so we can read a few passages to his father. His father has just taken a sudden and terrible turn in his battle with cancer. He is in a somewhat comatose state and probably will not last the week. They live in Redding where I also grew up so coming to Westport is not a problem. I am going out to their home this evening to say goodbye.
The book is very special to me, it tells the story of companions on a long wilderness canoe trip. When my friend’s father was a younger man he was an avid adventurer and his stories and photographs have inspired me, his son and others to go on yearly canoe adventures. There are a few passages that I would like to read despite the fact that he may not be able to hear me. My only copy is in Maine.
If you or the owner of XXX can help please let me know.
I pulled the book for him and noticed one of our employees mis-priced this $75 First Edition at $14 and I vacillated whether to sell it to him. I am a person of my word, so had to go ahead with the sale, albeit a bit bothered. So, after my workout, I was waiting for him to come over. Wouldn’t you know he was a total babe and Spanish? I had been on a Spanish kick this summer drawing men from Spain to me like flies for their sensuality and salsa dancing skills. When I saw his Spanish sounding name on the email, it didn’t even click with me. Now, had I not been stoned, I would have noticed every little thing about him, especially whether he had a ring on his finger. Being stoned, I could barely make change for his purchase and only noticed that he was a babe. He came and went and I headed to the movies.
Driving isn’t the best thing being stoned. I am an excellent driver normally and even when slightly buzzed. On pot, it’s a different thing altogether. After I bought my ticket for Whip it! other patrons wanted to talk to me, which I found annoying. Like, “just let me chill out in my own space, o.k.?” Normally, I am very social and friendly. Seeing the movie stoned was totally enjoyable and relaxing. Driving home had the same issues as driving to the movies, so I’d take that activity off the table when high.
I had plenty of energy when I got home so decided to pop in my 80’s playlist, put on my patent leather white boots and short shorts, and dance around my stripper pole. Boy, do you really get into the beats of the music when you are in an altered state. I’m sure most exotic dancers are messed up to deal with all the shit they deal with, I know I would be. After I did my little writhing on the floor section of the routine, I started to do a bunch of sit-ups to the song Feels Like Halloween. I am never into doing so many sit-ups when I am clear headed. Those damn beats are so mesmerizing and motivational when stoned.
I really could have danced all night but was bored by myself so got into bed where I played Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode over and over, again because I was so enamored by the underlying beats.
A very interesting day of the experiment and I understand my California pothead soul mate a little better. Boy, would it really suck not to be clear headed at all times, IMO. I am definitely not as sharp, insightful or intuitive while stoned. I rock when I am clear headed and very little can get in my way. It’s a totally different story when stoned. I am not sure how much longer I will experiment with this. I am even finding that during the day I am not waking up with as much energy and motivation as I usually have to get things done. Now, this could be the turn in weather to being cold or could be the position of the planets too, who knows? But, I’m not sure how much longer this will go on. So far, I like the sex combined with the music the best.
DAY #4 – Thursday. I’m not inclined to continue my experiment unless sex is an option tonight. It’s really more fun with another person around. I’m not really liking it for its own merits; I would much rather have a glass of chardonnay. I get quite sharp after a glass of wine.
That NYC friend who wants to smoke but isn’t certain of the ramifications on her 1.5 year old, asked the angels today about the situation (she and her whole family talk to the same channeler as do I). The angels suggested taking even one hit while breast feeding isn’t the best idea as it will stay in the baby’s system for awhile. So, she is vacillating on whether she wants to “allow” me and her husband to get stoned without her at the reunion. Truly, I’m not even sure I would do it at all because I don’t want to be any less than my true self in a brand new social situation. I told her about my lack of enthusiasm for continuing and she said it’s like wanting to eat ice cream every day. Sure, you may be stoked in the beginning, but then it loses its appeal and starts to make you feel sick. Probably a right on explanation for why they should legalize pot anyhow. Take away the mystery and the appeal is lost, no?
